We leave for Lego.land in a little over a month and I'm stressing out. We've reached the point, after paying bills, savings and getting stuff for the kids, we have little left to go towards this trip but we still go forward.
My entire work bonus is paying for the trip. My money.
I mention this, as The Hubs, who quit his job in February, still hasn't found, nor attempted to look for a job. He's currently a Stay at Home Dad. It's not all cracked up to be & we didn't come to this decision lightly. I decided, if he made the decision to quit, then he had to take care of the kids. But he's not exactly doing what he signed up to either.
My Mom still picks up The Kiddo from Kinder. My in-laws still pick up The Babe from her school...and well, he's doing side jobs for his parents. His parents pay him with cash. Cash that never seems to make it into our checking account. Money that I have to constantly ask him about and how tiring that gets. And when the money does eventually get deposited, he only deposits half. Half. I tell him, I wish I could designate where my income goes towards (like he does) or keep it for myself (like he does as well) but I cannot. I hate to sound like a petty Kindergartner but if I can't do it, then why are you allowed to?
I've been debating on what to do next. I've looked into marriage retreats at our local church. So far, we've found a few good ones but overall, the timing is off. We're either busy with soccer games, kid parties, vacation...so it's looking more and more that July will be better for us.
I've reached the point where I honestly don't care. He does what he wants to do. He's blaming vacation as the reason as to why he can't actively look for a job. He is now saying that he's working for his parents doing odd jobs around the house from repairing siding to building cabinets. All stuff my in-laws can't really afford, but do it because well, he's their son. I know my parents would just tell me flat out, get a job.
My angst comes from, money. It is like pulling teeth to get The Hubs to deposit any sort of money into the account. And the whole Lego.land trip...everything for the trip, tickets, hotel, rental car, trip money...I'm supplying it. And it frustrates me. I know I'm being taken advantage of and I don't quite know what to do about it.
A friend of mine told me the other day, while sharing with her what was going on, how it would be easier for the government to tell him how much to give me rather than me, as in, get a divorce.
I suppose I wouldn't be so angry about money if I saw some honest push to support his family. That, the whole, taking care of your family, not letting your better half to do ALL of it, that what gets me. It blows my mind that a normal man, would not want to step it up, for his family.
I don't want to sound like we're destitute. We're not. We're living paycheck to paycheck, yes and it bites but we have food in the pantry, in the fridge and on the table. A roof over our head and clothes on our back.
But the important things like, security (financial) scare me. Questions of, his lack of working, what is this going to do to our 401ks? What is our retirement going to look like? Is he banking on whatever his Parents are going to leave him? What about the kids college fund?
And I'm back to angst. I can't even really think about it nor talk about it without getting upset...and mainly at myself, for allowing all this to happen.
My entire work bonus is paying for the trip. My money.
I mention this, as The Hubs, who quit his job in February, still hasn't found, nor attempted to look for a job. He's currently a Stay at Home Dad. It's not all cracked up to be & we didn't come to this decision lightly. I decided, if he made the decision to quit, then he had to take care of the kids. But he's not exactly doing what he signed up to either.
My Mom still picks up The Kiddo from Kinder. My in-laws still pick up The Babe from her school...and well, he's doing side jobs for his parents. His parents pay him with cash. Cash that never seems to make it into our checking account. Money that I have to constantly ask him about and how tiring that gets. And when the money does eventually get deposited, he only deposits half. Half. I tell him, I wish I could designate where my income goes towards (like he does) or keep it for myself (like he does as well) but I cannot. I hate to sound like a petty Kindergartner but if I can't do it, then why are you allowed to?
I've been debating on what to do next. I've looked into marriage retreats at our local church. So far, we've found a few good ones but overall, the timing is off. We're either busy with soccer games, kid parties, vacation...so it's looking more and more that July will be better for us.
I've reached the point where I honestly don't care. He does what he wants to do. He's blaming vacation as the reason as to why he can't actively look for a job. He is now saying that he's working for his parents doing odd jobs around the house from repairing siding to building cabinets. All stuff my in-laws can't really afford, but do it because well, he's their son. I know my parents would just tell me flat out, get a job.
My angst comes from, money. It is like pulling teeth to get The Hubs to deposit any sort of money into the account. And the whole Lego.land trip...everything for the trip, tickets, hotel, rental car, trip money...I'm supplying it. And it frustrates me. I know I'm being taken advantage of and I don't quite know what to do about it.
A friend of mine told me the other day, while sharing with her what was going on, how it would be easier for the government to tell him how much to give me rather than me, as in, get a divorce.
I suppose I wouldn't be so angry about money if I saw some honest push to support his family. That, the whole, taking care of your family, not letting your better half to do ALL of it, that what gets me. It blows my mind that a normal man, would not want to step it up, for his family.
I don't want to sound like we're destitute. We're not. We're living paycheck to paycheck, yes and it bites but we have food in the pantry, in the fridge and on the table. A roof over our head and clothes on our back.
But the important things like, security (financial) scare me. Questions of, his lack of working, what is this going to do to our 401ks? What is our retirement going to look like? Is he banking on whatever his Parents are going to leave him? What about the kids college fund?
And I'm back to angst. I can't even really think about it nor talk about it without getting upset...and mainly at myself, for allowing all this to happen.
